six times a bridesmaid
by TappinCastlefan
Summary: "So, six times a bridesmaid, huh? You wouldn't happen to have any pictures, would you?" Kate Beckett never thought she'd be this woman.


**_Been sitting on this for a LONG time - since a rewatch of 'Rose for Everafter'. Finally finished it off - un-beta'ed (or proofed at all, really)._**

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_"So, six times a bridesmaid, huh? You wouldn't happen to have any pictures, would you?"_

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(1)

The first time she's a bridesmaid, she's eleven

She's standing at the front of the church beside the rest of the bridal party, trying oh so hard to be grown-up. Her dress is fluttering against the tops of her toes because she can't seem to stand still, sways back and forth as slightly as she can, hands gripped around the bouquet of sunflowers and little white things she doesn't recognize.

The church is beautiful, all white with flowers anchoring each pew with little candles all over. It looks so pretty bathed in that yellow glow.

Her parents are sitting together in the third row - she can see them all cuddled together like they do at home when they watch movies as a family. Her mom is looking at her cousin, the bride, smiling and listening, but her dad meets her eyes and pulls a funny face. It makes her giggle. But then she hears the lady standing next to her sniffle and she schools herself again.

She's a bridesmaid. She has to look grown up and perfect.

Instead of listening to the ceremony she thinks about how happy she was when her big cousin Jessica called, told her she was getting married and wanted her to be a bridesmaid. She had jumped around the living room for an hour, babbling on to her mother about dresses and hair-dos and asking if she'd be allowed to wear makeup. The two are the only girls in their family - the rest of their cousins are boys - and even though Jessie is eleven years older than her, they've always been close.

Katie was thrilled to be given the honor of being the only junior bridesmaid at the wedding.

Her eyes dart over when she hears people clapping. Jessie's kissing her new husband - ew - and it hits her.

Jessie's married.

Jessie's not just hers anymore.

No more spontaneous weekend shopping trips or sleepovers. Jessie probably won't come pick her up for school anymore and take her out for ice cream.

Jessie has a husband now. She'll probably have married things to do.

Her parents catch her at the end of the aisle after she follows the other bridesmaids out. She can tell her mom was crying, but her dad just looks at her for a moment before sweeping her up into a hug. He tells her how beautiful she looks and what a good job she did, and then asks her,

"Everything okay, Katie?"

She nods, "Mhmm." She smiles for her parents. "Can we go to the party now?"

Her mother laughs, "Of course we can."

Jessie comes up to her late in the evening. The room is starting to quiet down, people are starting to go home, and Katie can feel how tired she is. She's so tired that the tears pushing at the back of her eyes are starting to win.

But Jessie comes up to where she's sitting, draped in her dad's suit jacket, and takes her hands.

"So, I was thinking when I come back from my trip, I'm going to need a Jessie-Katie day."

"Yeah?" Her throat hurts to talk.

"Well, I can't spend all of my time with a boy, can I?"

Katie giggles. "You promise?"

Her cousin leans in, presses their foreheads together. "Of course I promise."

(2)

She's sixteen the second time.

She's sixteen, it's her cousin Matt's wedding this time, and she's fairly certain that Matt's fiancé never really wanted her in the wedding.

They're supposed to be taking pictures in twenty minutes, but her curling iron isn't working right and after burning the back of her hand once on it, Kate's really not in the mood to deal with the bride's passive aggressive attitude, which she knows is coming.

"Katie, here. Come on," her mother shoves her hands away and stands behind her, "let me help you."

"Mom," she huffs.

"Katie, I know." The stern lawyer-voice is out. "I know you don't want to do this, but Matt wants you there, so let me help you get this fixed and we'll head down. The sooner we get going the sooner you can be done."

She sighs at the feeling of her mother's fingers threading through the loose, unstable curls she was able to do. "Okay."

She lets her eyes shut as her mother works some kind of magic with the iron, and when she opens them her hair is done. Perfect and pulled back, just like she pictured it in her head. "Thanks, Mom."

Gently her mother tugs her head back so that they're looking at each other upside down. "Anytime," she kisses her forehead. "Now touch up your lipstick and we'll get going."

She keeps her 'nice' face on through the pictures, through the ceremony. As soon as they get to the reception she doesn't have to be anywhere near the bride anymore so she takes her seat at the table with her parents and other members of their family. Jessie is sitting next to her so she gets to play with her little boy - her three year-old second cousin. He's cute, a pretty easy baby, so hanging out with them is kind of fun.

Content to spend the night at the table, doing everything to avoid being sociable with too many people, she's surprised when she feels a tap on her shoulder after the cake is cut.

It's Matt. He's holding out his hand and asking her to dance.

"Sure," she answers, because really, she can't turn down the groom and Matt's always been like her big brother.

He pulls her out to the dance floor - not the center, thankfully - and tugs her around to the tune of some mildly peppy Frank Sinatra song.

"Thanks for doing this Kate." He spins her around, pulls her back in. "I know you really didn't want to."

"No," she argues. "I did. Want to, I mean."

"It's okay," he laughs, "I know you've been uncomfortable all day. But hey, it's not you, alright? I swear. Amy's just...well, she likes to be in control of everything. Just wasn't a fan of me wanting my favorite cousin in the wedding."

"It's okay. Promise. As long as you're happy. If she makes you happy," she purses her lips, "then I can wear this dress and the shoes and keep to myself for a night."

The song comes to an end and she's on the receiving end of one of the biggest hugs she's ever had. "I owe you one."

"Yeah, well," she pulls back with a laugh, "just stop singing that ridiculous song to me and we'll be even." She'll give anything for him to stop singing out her name in some nonsense tune every time they meet.

"Hmm, I'll have to think about that one."

He spins and heads off in another direction before she can punch him in the shoulder like she wants to. But instead of going after him she settles back into her chair beside her mother, barely listens to the conversation around her, but watches as Matt dances, smile on his face, with his new wife.

She's shocked at the end of the night when Amy hugs her and says she's happy that she was part of their day.

(3)

The third time, Kate's twenty-two.

And she doesn't want to be here at all.

Everything hurts, and she hasn't even been able to look at her bridesmaid dress without welling up. It's been almost three years but she just...can't.

Everyone around her is happy, the other girls are dancing around the hotel suite they booked, doing hair and make up as if nothing bad can ever happen. She knows that her own darkness shouldn't tarnish the day, but she can't help it. She doesn't say a word to the others. She just smiles and nods, goes along with everything the other bridesmaids are doing, but the cloud is still there.

One of her best friends is getting married, to her boyfriend of eight years. Liz and Shawn had been together since their freshman year of high school, even survived four years of college apart. Everyone knew that they would end up getting married, so when she got the phone call nine months ago she wasn't at all surprised. She's thrilled for her friends, really.

But it doesn't make it hurt any less.

She had struggled as she gathered her things before heading over to the hotel this morning. It was the first wedding without her mother. No mom to do her hair, tell her that she was going overboard with the eyeliner or how beautiful she looked when she finished. She knows that's not how it would happen today. She was twenty-two years old, supposed to be partying in a hotel with her friends as they all primped. Her mother wouldn't be up here with them.

But she'd be here.

She finds herself staring at herself in the mirror, twisting a tube of mascara back and forth in her fingers. She can't stop wondering how everything would be different if her mother were still alive. Would she have pushed her way into the room to help out all "the girls" with their makeup? Or would she be downstairs with her father now, instead of him being alone as he is? Maybe bringing her father as her date wasn't the best idea-

"Kate. Hey." Somehow she missed Liz sit down beside her. "Are you sure you're alright? I mean, I know what you said, but I don't want you to feel-"

"Lizzy, it's okay. I'm…okay." If she's not mistaken she can see the glint of tears in her friend's eyes. "Hey, you're getting married today! You should be excited!"

"I know, I know," she sniffs, but with a smile, careful not to smudge the finished work of art on her face. "Just, um, wanted to let you know I miss her, too."

Kate grabs her friend's hand, squeezes. "Thanks. Means a lot to me."

Liz just smiles, squeezes her hand back before giving her a hug and skipping off, leaving Kate to finish getting herself ready.

She's not going to think about it…her. That's what she tells herself. She just won't think about…everything. Her makeup is perfect, her hair expertly twisted, the dress is beautiful, and her father tells her that she's gorgeous when she meets up with him after the ceremony.

They're quiet through the reception, dance and sit together, not really letting anyone break their little happy yet somber bubble. She's okay with it.

She'll be okay.

(4)

The fourth time she's a bridesmaid she's twenty-five, and stunned to have even been asked.

Jeff, her best friend as a kid called her up one day, said he was getting married and wanted her to be there. At first she thought it was just an invitation, but then he asked her to stand with him.

She met his fiancé, a nice girl from California whom he met at work. They're cute together. Going with the bride and her friends to find dresses was slightly awkward – Kate obviously didn't know the woman enough to really be helpful, but the girls were great and welcomed her as if they had known her forever.

The wedding ends up being a small, outdoor affair. A little garden area all lit up and decorated with paper lanterns and fairy lights. It's gorgeous, really.

She's standing at the head of the aisle, on the groom's side, two of his college roommates to her left, his cousin and older brother on her right, surprised at how happy she is. The bridesmaids like her, the groomsmen like her, and hey, it's not like she has a date, so she could just…be herself tonight.

She lets Jeff snag her to dance when they get to the tent set up for the reception.

"You look good, Katie."

"Thanks," she grins, tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. "I feel good."

"How's work? Take down any mass murderers lately?"

"Jeff, I just made detective, I'm still just the new guy."

"New girl." He corrects her. "I'm proud of you."

She nods into his shoulder.

"So, no guy? Noticed that you didn't check 'and guest' on your RSVP."

"Nope," she laughs, or tries to, "No guy. Looks like you're stuck with just me for the night."

"Well, actually, my friend Dan was kind of hoping you'd save him a dance or two?"

Kate hesitates for a moment. It's been a while since she'd let herself relax around new guys, at least since she'd left the academy. Why not?

"Yeah, sure. He around?" She feels the tap on her shoulder.

"Right here." She spins out of Jeff's arms to find his buddy Dan, the groomsman one away from her during the ceremony, smiling at her. "Care to dance?"

"Yeah," she nods and lets him lead her around the floor. He's nice. He's funny and sweet, compliments her and asks her about work, and actually doesn't sound put-off by her chosen profession. She likes how he lets her ask him the same questions, answers with no preamble, and shows her a great evening.

The next morning she parts ways with Dan outside of her hotel room and heads back to the city on her own, riding the high of a wonderful night.

(5)

The fifth time she's actually co-maid of honor with the bride's sister.

She's twenty-seven when her college roommate gets married, and is asked to split the maid-of-honor duties with the bride's eighteen year-old little sister.

"Supervise her, please, Kate? Make sure she doesn't do anything stupid." Her friend had pleaded with her upon her engagement.

So she's basically babysitting?

Sure, the dress costs her a small fortune - she had to save three months of paychecks to be able to pay for _it_ and her bills - she spends at least a whole month, cumulatively, with the bride's sister arranging everything by the time of the wedding, and she's taken off a few too many workdays than she would have liked, but when the bride turns to her at the rehearsal dinner, teary-eyed and grinning, thanks her _so much_ for all that she's done, none of the frustrations matter.

It helps that she finds it kind of romantic that Lindsey's wedding is the first she brings a _real_ date to.

It took some work, but eventually she managed to talk Will into escorting her to the affair. He wasn't a huge fan, especially after having to deal with how crazed she got over helping plan for her friend, but she got to him. And damn, the man looked handsome in a tux.

The two of them made their way to the church early – Kate had to attend to her maid-of-honor duties – and Will quietly slipped out of her sight.

She looks for him as everyone shuffles out of the church to get to the reception, peering over the tops of heads and around the couples crammed together in the rush. He's nowhere in sight.

For a moment she fears that he's gone ahead without her, fed up with how long everything has taken and how much time she's been giving to someone else. He hadn't wanted to come in the first place, why did she make him?

She's fighting the panic when a pair of arms wrap around her waist from behind, and then his voice whispers in her ear.

"You looked incredible up there."

She grins. This is the Will Sorenson she loves. The man who somehow manages to overlook his own frustrations for her. She turns in his arms.

"Thank you. You happened to look pretty darn good sitting next to Lindsey's grandmother if I may say so." She pauses to kiss him, just barely, "Thanks for helping her in by the way."

"No problem." He kisses her back. "But I have to say, all I could think about, watching you stand there in that dress was taking you home and-"

Maybe a bit too aggressively, she presses her finger to his lips, shutting him up. "We're in a church."

He huffs. "We don't by any chance have anytime before the reception-"

"No." She stares him down. "We should get going, speaking of."

"You sure," he teases as he takes her arm and leads them to the car.

"Yes."

"But we're not that far-"

"No."

(6)

She has no idea how she ended up in this hotel room, with Lanie and a bunch of her friends, wearing a bridesmaid dress.

Lanie told her something about the bride having a huge blow-out fight with one of her friends, uninvited her, but was now short a bridesmaid – 4 bridesmaids to 5 groomsmen just _wouldn't_ work – and Lanie had nominated her to fill the spot.

When it turned out that the two women wore the same dress size her fate had been sealed.

Really though, she knows she should be thankful. The bride didn't make her pay for anything, took care of the dress and the shoes and all the hair and nail appointments as a thank you for stepping in for her at the last minute. All it cost on her part were two sick days.

She sighs as she lets Lanie zip up her hair.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," she whispers back.

"Well don't sound so excited," Lanie teases. "You have seen Aaron, right?"

Kate knows she's referring to the groomsman who is technically her escort. Lanie set them up on a quote-unquote date for the evening. While she couldn't deny that the guy was good looking, chiseled jaw and all, he gave her the impression that he was totally uninterested.

She nods, but Lanie's not buying her cover. She never does.

"Well you could've brought your own date, but you said that you didn't want to. And don't think you're avoiding _that_ conversation."

Great, she thinks, because she needs a reminder that she's twenty-nine years old and single, with no one in her life to even dream about having a decent relationship with.

"Please, Lanie. Not today. Another time I'll let you rip into me about my lack of a love life, but not today, okay?"

Lanie sighs. "Fine. Just 'cause you're being such a good sport. But we're having lunch next week."

Her friend gives her a pointed look as she moves about to get her things together and Kate just smirks at her.

(1)

Kate Beckett _never_ thought she'd be this woman. She never imagined that she'd _ever_ even make it to this point where she's standing in a hotel suite with her friends and family tutting around and fussing over her because she's _getting married_.

Wow.

She's getting married.

She knew it, logically she knew that this day was coming, ever since Castle got down on one knee and actually proposed to her, asked if she'd spend the rest of her life with him. But even through the dress fittings and the cake tastings, and the meetings and all the rest of the planning…it never seemed real.

But now she's standing in the middle of the bedroom, staring down her wedding dress, and it hits her. Down a floor her almost-husband is doing the same thing – preparing - and within the hour she's going to be walking down the aisle towards him while everyone that matters most to them stands witness.

She takes a deep breath and reaches up to pull the gown from the hangar, steps in with shaky knees, and draws the strapless bodice up to rest properly over her chest before calling out for Lanie to come lace her in.

Her best friend's face just lights up when she walks in the room, making her grin. "Don't look at me like that."

"Well I can't help it, I've been waiting for this day for a long time. Not to mention the fact that that dress is perfect for you."

Kate's arm is still wrapped around herself, holding the thing up. She can't imagine it looks _that_ good.

"Just lace me up." It's half-question, half-pleading, because she just wants to be ready and _married_ already. Apparently once she realized that it was actually happening the anticipation just ballooned inside of her.

With a hum Lanie begins the tedious process of lacing up the back of the dress – why didn't she pick something with a zipper? – but pauses to tell her to stop twitching.

"You're really that excited."

She doesn't answer.

"I don't blame you, sweetie. Javi texted me and said Castle's pretty impatient to get this thing going, too."

"Not impatient. Just ready."

Lanie pulls the ribbons taught one final time before tying an elegant knot and tucking the strands away, moving to step beside her in full view of the mirror. This is her best friend, Kate thinks, her champion despite how hardheaded she can be.

Without thinking any further she turns and wraps her arms around Lanie, "Thank you."

"Don't even mention it. No way you're getting rid of me now." The two laugh through the lightest of tears. "So, you sure you're ready? They're all waiting out there."

With a glance at the door, knowing what awaits her once she steps through she nods – gulps. "Yeah. I'm ready." She takes one final look in the mirror to make sure her make up is finished and her hair pulled back just right in the low bun, then turns to Lanie and grips her hand.

The second they step through to the living room of the suite she's met by a chorus of compliments by Martha, Alexis and Maddie. Even the hairstylist they hired stops what she was doing and tells her how great she looks. She's never this person who gets excited over the attention, but today she just can't help it.

Kate thanks everyone, asks if they're all ready as well and they begin their caravan out the door, grabbing flowers and bags along the way. Lanie is carrying her bouquet, Maddie hanging onto the little bag with her touch up makeup for after the ceremony, and Alexis takes to helping her lift and carry the train of her dress down the hall and into the elevator.

The group of women leaves her for a moment with her father the second they reach the ballroom that's been set up for their ceremony. He looks at her like time has stopped and they're the only two people on the planet. She smiles at him nervously, playing with an errant strand of hair that isn't even there to tuck behind her ear, "What do you think, Dad?"

He draws her into his arms, careful not to muss her hair or makeup, whispers in her ear, "I think you're perfect, Katie." He pulls back and she can see the glimmer in his eyes, "Just perfect. You look so much like your mother."

She can't get a word past the sudden lump in her throat but she nods and hugs herself to him a little tighter.

"Thanks, Dad." She manages to choke out.

"Well?" He holds her at arms length, nods over his shoulder to where her bridesmaids are waiting for her. "Shall we?"

In that moment, with her arm in her father's, her best friends and soon to be stepdaughter dressed in shades of purple, waiting patiently to begin, she grins. A big, beaming smile that goes all the way to her ears and makes her cheeks hurt.

She's a bride.

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_**Tappin :)**_


End file.
